Friday was National Dog Day and since lately it seems I am finding any reason to write because it helps, I thought I would write about our dogs. Lucky is our six year old rescue we got when she was seven months old. We were at a Dog Days celebration and the Humane Shelter was there with a few rescue dogs.
On the outside, we might have seemed a little crazy that day. I was with my kids and taking a dog home was definitely not in our plans. I am allergic to most dogs and while I always wanted one, I knew it was probably not the best idea. I may have looked like a weak mom because despite all of this, my outward signs of caving were becoming more obvious. It was hard to resist Zoe and Simon's adorable little voices promising they would feed and walk a new puppy every day.
On the inside, I was insecure and worried that I looked all of the above but I was stronger than many knew because Jay was not living with us at the time and I had been on my own with the kids. I was following my intuition that yes this could be a crazy idea but maybe this is exactly what our family that was struggling needed. It was definitely a heart decision.
Since this day and a couple of others, I have wondered if divine moments are not straightforward but rather can be seen out of the corner of our eyes; as happened when in the exact moment I was reluctantly about to say yes to a cute brown and white spotted puppy, out of the corner of my eye I saw Lucky. I immediately turned away from the dog we were about to take home and towards Lucky and with 100% confidence came out of my mouth "that is the dog we are going to get."
We took our new sweet and gentle puppy home on a beautiful spring day in Nashville. On the outside, it looked like we rescued Lucky but if you were inside our home, you would see that she rescued us and while her name is Lucky, we are definitely the lucky ones. Jay moved in not so long after this and luck did find us again for a while.
On Father's Day this summer, we decided to buy our new puppy, Benji. Once again it was an impulsive decision made because it was a hard day but this time, I did not need to see Benji out of the corner of my eye to know it was meant to be. When I tuck Simon and Benji into bed and say goodnight to my boys, I know this puppy is exactly what we needed. Even Lucky seems happier with her new sidekick who licks her ears and follows her wherever she goes.
The phrase "there are always two sides to every story" I think is most relevant in our own outside and inside stories. As I write more and more, I am taking a gamble that sharing more of my inside story will be how I become stronger. When I doubt myself, I read these words.
The irony is that we disown our difficult stories to appear more whole or more acceptable. But our wholeness - even our wholeheartedness - actually depends on the integration of all of our experiences including the falls. -Brene Brown
When we watch our dogs play, it seems almost impossible to feel anything but happiness. And when we are sad, there is nothing like holding onto our strong grounded dog, Lucky or cuddling in the soft warmth of Benji. While I can write about my inside story, it is harder for me to talk about so having a puppy keeps it light and easy which is often what I need. On the outside, I want to seem normal and I know one day my insides will catch up if I keep writing.
Another Story by The Head and the Heart