It was a very last minute decision to write these words the morning of Jay's funeral last year. Whenever I wrote anything, I always read it to Jay over and over. He was my biggest and most patient fan and so I felt he deserved for me to read to him these words.
I first of all want to thank everyone for being here. Grateful does not even begin to describe how I feel for the outpouring of support. The kids and I feel so surrounded by the love of everyone and it is bringing us so much comfort.
Jay is my rock. He is the yin to my yang. He is my very best friend and he believes in me and loves me and helped me grow into the woman I am today. He is the one person in my life who I could 100% be myself with – I could sing, laugh, cry, be silly or scared or scattered or mad – Jay, thank you for unconditionally loving me so much, I could not help but start loving myself along the way with you. I love you from the very deepest place in my being and always will.
Jay loves everyone. I will get to the #1 loves of his life in a moment, his children. But for now, I want to speak of Jay’s love of his family and friends. He loved his parents – mom and dad, his best friend Cary who he admired so very much, his aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews, cousins, my parents, his sister and brother in laws and friends. Jay loved everyone and just as he could tune into the unique sound of the music he loved, he also had the ability to do the same with everyone he knew. He loved you all and standing by his side for over 20 years, I can honestly say he never had a mean word to say about anyone. Jay never judged anyone and would do anything for anyone. His heart was so always open to people and he was truly a magnetic force drawing people into his stories and passion for life.
Zoe and Simon, I think I do not have to tell you how much Daddy loves you. He is so proud of you both in every way. You both are the love and light of his life and you only brought him so much happiness. Zoe, any minute you wanted to be with him from throwing the Frisbee, to talking about music or taking you to a concert, to studying with you for however long you needed, he was there in a heartbeat. He was so proud of how hard you work, how kind you are and amazed by your inner and outer beauty that just keeps growing. Si Guy, Daddy loves watching sports with you, falling asleep in movies with you, giving you math problems and being with his little buddy- his little mini me. He is infinitely beaming with pride and love for you both always. He never lost his temper or was disappointed by either of you. Yes, what has been said already, Daddy is the master of unconditional love.
Before I go, I want to say to you all here, let’s celebrate Jay today and carry with us how he lives. Let’s remember to always be kind to each other because truly many people in this world struggle and we don’t know it- be gentle, be kind, love one another, have good will, forgive one another, welcome new people– if you are hurting, share it with others - be yourself, listen to less pop music and be open to new sounds, new people and the idea that it is possible to love unconditionally.
I love you Jay and I am so proud of you, I am so proud to be your wife and I am so proud of our beautiful family. Thank you. I will miss you more than I can imagine right now but I know we are strong and we will be OK with you by our side.
Phish, Prince Caspian